2009 Schedule Follow Up

We want to go to there

After sitting on this, I’ve come to realize this is a horribly unfair schedule, relative to the conference. The ACC must hate affirmative action. They must be in cahoots with The Man. This is worse than the original reference to Murder Incorporated. This is Captain Willard realizing he has to kill Colonel Kurtz. He doesn’t want to. He loves the guy. Admires him. Respects him. Wishes he could serve under him. But orders are orders, and dems da breaks. We can’t all slide through life as a snail on a razor blade.

Nah, I keed, I keed. Kurtz wanted to die.

In actuality, this is a fantastic opportunity. Miami can regain some huge national exposure from doing well early on. Everyone, and I mean everyone, will be writing off this young and raw group with two newly hired coordinators. This team wasn’t going undefeated anyways. Randy can band the entire team around this schedule and low preseason expectations. Hopefully we can see a whole season reminiscent of the 2005 Va Tech game. Total beat downs from unsuspecting opponents and national media.

The real problem is for the Canes fans. For the next 6 months, I don’t know if Miami will start 0-4, and have a totally lost season come the first week of October, or be 3-1 and sitting pretty in both the ACC and national title race. Miami can go 6-6 next year, look light years ahead of this past season, and no one outside of South Florida will realize it. But, you know what? I want these big games. I want to be the talk of the preseason. High risk, high reward thing. Miami is getting back to the great OoC opponents in the coming years: home and homes with Ohio State, Nebraska, Pittsburgh, Kansas State, and Cincinnati, with the second half of the Florida contract still to come as well.

Well, there is only one logical conclusion. The ACC must not want one of its two marquee programs in the title game. I guess they like being the laughing stock of the country, namely the BCS Big 6. When Va Tech and BC play to 5,000 people, and ABC has to crop their wide shots for 3+ hours to hide it, they must all chuckle in their booth, loving the fact they are paid to endorse this atrocious shit.

All roads lead to Tampa.

2009 Football Schedule Official

The ACC officially announced the 2009 Football Schedule for all 12 teams. Everyone plan your road trips accordingly.

Miami

Sept. 7 at Florida State (ESPN)

Sept. 17 Georgia Tech (ESPN)

Sept. 26 at Virginia Tech

Oct. 3 Oklahoma

Oct. 10 Florida A&M

Oct. 17 at Central Florida

Oct. 24 Clemson

Oct. 31 at Wake Forest

Nov. 7 Virginia

Nov. 14 at North Carolina

Nov. 21 Duke

Nov. 28 at South Florida

 

Miami will be playing a Murderer’s Row right out the gate. Opener against FSU on the road, followed with Ga Tech at home, and then Va Tech in Blacksburg. Oh, you don’t like opening  a season with 3 conference games that can kill any hopes of a conference title by September 26th? Well, here’s Oklahoma for your first Out of Conference slate! Muwahahahahahaha. This is something even Hyman Roth would hesitate at. Running molasses out of Canada? No problem compared to those first 4 games.

Miami needs to win 2 of the 3 opening ACC tilts to have any chance of a conference crown. In fact, this may be the most difficult schedule, on paper, for an ACC team that I have ever seen. True, that isn’t saying much, but still. This is not your typical cake walk ACC season.

The obvious benefit here is if they can just go 3-1 to start, they will be sitting in great shape. Would have tie-breakers over many of the top teams next year in conference, and probably in the top 15 nationally depending on who they lost to. However, I’d probably be happy with 2-2, if one of the losses was to OU, leaving them 2-1 in conference play. If they go any worse, I’m afraid we will need to call in Frank Pantangeli’s brother over in Sicily to get us out of that mess.

Miami “slashes” ticket prices

Kirby Hocutt, fresh off his botch job in prying more money from President Shalala, announced plans to cut the ticket prices for some sections for the 2009 season. Of course, my section, Alumni, will see none of those benefits. Kirb-dawg, you do realize the Alumni section is full of all the recent grads, right? The ones who can’t afford season tickets, but get them anyways? And most importantly, the ones who will potentially be big donors in 10 years, for the next 20? (Hell, I only went to Miami for a year, and I want to go all Alex Rodriguez when I’m rich and convince those territorial fucks in the Gables to build an on-campus stadium! They would never let me, even for a $5 million straight donation to the city, but still.) And he couldn’t cut the $75 donation fee? Come on, Kirbs. The donation fee is a 21% premium to the actual season ticket cost. This is like a NFL seat license. Killing us.

On the plus side, all the unemployed, South end zone at the OB Canes fans will see some real discounts. Cuts reach upwards of $151 in the upper levels, with two mid-level club sections (206 and 212) seeing a decrease as well.

In reality, the all-in Alumni ticket price is actually a great deal. $345 for six games (most seasons you get seven),  a state of the art stadium, great parking, easy enter and exiting, and it serves all kinds of liquor. And that was for 20 rows up from the field.

Randy is being proactive in this budget crisis. He has offered (and has been accepted) for Miami to bus to games at UCF and USF next season. Not too shabby. Will save the Athletic Department $140K. I feel those should be bus trips every year really. Only 4 hours max to either location. On a personal level, anything under 8 hours on Google Maps is an automatic drive over flying. And when Google Maps tracks estimated time using 65 mph average, you can always chip away at that time, with your 85 mph clip.

For all this money being saved, I can only hope they paint the end zones this year. As much as I love the slanted parallel lines, a la Notre Dame, it reminds me of…Notre Dame. Enough!

Miami to hire John Lovett as DC

The Miami Herald is reporting that the Canes will hire UNC Defensive Assistant John Lovett as their next Defensive Coordinator. Lovett came to UNC with Butch Davis, and was also the Special Teams Coordinator.

This is definitely a suprise hire by Randy, one not many saw coming. Perhaps he liked what he had with Bill Young. The well-traveled assistant, someone not looking to go anywhere, with loads of experience to teach young players. At the same time, Lovett is 58, was not the DC under Butch Davis, and has not been a coordinator since 2006 with Bowling Green. He does have 18 years experience running a defense, however, including stints in the SEC with Auburn and Mississippi. This guy isn’t green.

I’m actually more excited about what he can bring to the Special Teams play. If Miami can start consistently putting kickoffs past the 15 yard line (please?), block some kicks, and increase their return average by even 10 net yards, it will do wonders for the still growing offense. A defense with studs all over can run itself. Unless you’re Patrick Nix.

Miami Hurricanes DC search continues on

(whispers) Kirby, go talk to Donna, get me some money for a DC!

Lost in all the Mark Whipple and National Signing Day hoopla is that fact Miami is still without a Defensive Coordinator. Rumors are that the vault is empty, Randy will have to handle the duties, all because there is no more money to get a big name DC.  Some might think us Canes fans are in a desperate situation. Not one to let any restrictions hinder his search, Athletic Director Kirby Hocutt has decided to bring in a consultant, one who has experienced more than his share of money troubles with an owner (or president), and is not afraid to say what others may not.

Lou Brown: Hocutt! Gimme all your requirements goddamit! I need to know what I’m looking for.

Kirby: Well, Lou, we want someone who runs the Cover 2 Base defense, blitzes rarely, utilizing the front four to put all the pressure, and can pin their ears back once we get a two touchdown lead.

LB: Well, shit. I know a great guy. Knew him back in my days in Cleveland. You might of heard of him, Bob Stoops? He wasn’t much of a career climber. He’s probably still washing cars in the off-season up there in Youngstown, earn a couple extra bucks.

KH: Uh, Lou, Bob Stoops is the head coach of Oklahoma. Has been for over 10 years.

LB: Well, shit. I knew I shouldn’t have moved to London once Taylor took my job. I was doing that sack of shit catcher a favor!

KH: And Lou, we sort of have a budget concern with our Defensive Coordinator hire. We broke the bank on Mark Whipple, and need to keep this one on the lower end of the scale.

LB: No problem Hocutt. I have a great idea. Check out this sketch I just made to scrap together some funds.

Don't Hire a DC without it!

LB: You like it Hocutt? Randy hocking AMEX! You’re sitting on a goldmine here!

KH: Uh, Lou, I don’t think Randy will be OK with this idea. Maybe we can just re-direct some funds from the tennis and diving teams. They run a surplus every few years. President Shalala has been very adamant about not overspending on the coordinators.

LB: Forget about the curve ball Hocutt, give Shalala the heater!

KH: Well, I don’t know Lou. She can be pretty intimidating.

LB: Come on Hocutt, get in front of the damn woman! Don’t give me this “olé” bullshit! Go in there, walk right past her lady secretary, and tell her you are bringing in whoever you damn please! And you’re gonna wine and dine ‘em! Show ‘em the town! Automatic Slims! Mango’s! Monty’s Raw Bar in the Grove!

KH: Lou, I can’t do that. President Shalala insisted no overspending. I can’t take someone out to South Beach, let alone Monty’s. Maybe we can do Chicken Kitchen, but only if I pay.

LB: Chicken Kitchen?! I’ve had it with this nickel and dime shit! I want that bitch on the phone!

KH: Lou, this isn’t a good idea-

LB: Hocutt. Look here. Try this. Throw this in front of your boosters. It worked for me before.

KH: Lou, that is sick. You are a dirty old man. President Shalala has been nothing but supportive to the football team.

(pause)

KH: Lou, this might have been a bad idea bringing you in, maybe we should just leave it at that, go our separate ways…

LB: You don’t wise up and listen to me Hocutt, and guess who’ll be bagging groceries in a couple of weeks! You’re from Ohio, right? I hear the other Miami is hiring. You ever think of going back there for a few? I have connections up there. You and Dorn can tag team some third rate hookers out on Lake Erie for all I care!

(pause)

KH: I’ll get back to you on this Lou. Thanks for your advice.

LB: (sighs) Oh, no problem Kirby. (pause) But hey, I figure we ought to hang out together for a while today and see if we can give all those stuck up Coral Gables people a nice big shitburger to eat! Whaddaya say Kirb?”

KH: Uh…I have to go now Lou…I’ll have our secretary get you your check.

LB: Well, alright Hocutt! Now you’re talking. I love this Coral Gables shit! I just might move here!

The Okie is back…Maybe!

Nuh-uh! Who wants to interview me?! RoadRunners? Nooo! For realsies??

Looks like someone else wants to kill their program. Texas-San Antonio does realize they don’t get to start with someone else’s players, right? They don’t get dozens of NFL draft picks to mooch off of for 4 years, yes? Well, maybe not.

Lets see. If they start in D1-AA, which is the usual course of action for a new program, I see them going, oh, 0-12, for the first 5 years. But as long as they don’t get into an on the field altercation, the Okie will still man the ship! I keed, I keed.

Seriously now. How can any program look at Larry Coker with a straight face? How can you not see behind his fantastic record (60-15)? Especially when his own school saw right through it, even though it took them about two years too late. When you have this as your resume: 35 straight wins, an .800 winning percentage, one national title, one title game loss, 3 BCS bowl appearances, 3 conference titles, owning both your in-state rivals, and you’re still fired after six years?

I fear for the Athletic Director’s sanity.

Paul Johnson will eat your children’s dreams

You official yet? No? Yank the offer Giff!

Ga Tech HC Paul Johnson did what probably all D1 guys want to do. He took back a scholarship to a player that was verbally committed. Never mind the fact this choice of school will literally determine the outcome of this guy’s entire life. Paul Johnson doesn’t give a shit. Or that he was a dual threat QB, the one position Johnson needs to start competing for national titles. Nope, Paul Johnson still doesn’t care. You want to take the scenic route up from Tampa to Atlanta, maybe stop off for a day, see the beauty of Augusta? Again, no teardrop from ole Paulie. You just better be there on time, like you verbally contractually obligated yourself to do.

I am actually fine with this practice. In the old days of recruiting, players were more or less off limits once they gave a verbal. You didn’t have all this useless hat changing, or any handlers. However, this is America, where someone staying at a job for 2 years is cause for questioning from friends why they haven’t moved on yet. You’re open season until you’re not. All’s fair, etc. Miami is still up for the #1 Rivals recruit because Randy don’t give a shit as well, in his own way. He will take anyone, headaches and all. He, like Urban Meyer, or Pete Carroll, all know you have to deal with the egos if you want to win titles.

I’m not saying Paul Johnson won’t take Ga Tech to that level using this practice. He’s a fantastic coach in a relatively easy BCS conference. Dontae Aycock, the recruit in question, decided to switch because even he knows you don’t make the league playing QB for an option team. He went to Auburn to play RB. His high school coach even told him not to de-commit.

Then again, when you spend $805,342 on recruiting, maybe you earn the right to not give a shit.

National Signing Day is upon us

Look at me. Look at me, okay? Technically, I shouldn’t be getting laid with all these recruits, but I do. And do you know why? Because when I’m hanging out with a recruit, that’s all I’m doing is hanging out, talking, listening. I’m not sitting there thinking about how to get in bed with them. And this completely confuses them because they’re saying “Wait a minute. I’m so much better looking than this guy. I’m on ESPN’s Top 150. Isn’t he attracted to me?” The basic principle: We pursue that which retreats from us.

It’s like Butch Davis on the Titanic. He kept saying, “More people, more people.” But Randy was, like, “No.”

Don’t fret Canes fans. Randy has this all under control. Be a Steve, not a Stu.

Sam Barrington (OLB) commits to Miami…wait, he actually doesn’t

(This post was set to run if Barrington picked Miami, but I spend so much time on it, I decided to run it anyways.)

Sam Barrington decided to beat the oversaturation of tomorrow’s hat fest and announce his college decision tonight. Staking out a club in his hometown of Jacksonville, Barrington announced mere minutes ago he will be attending Miami to play football.

Barrington listed his final three as UM, South Florida, and Illinois. Damn Zooker. Overreaching again into this great commodity ripe state of Florida. He just makes the rest of them work harder. Barrington even said he didn’t like the cold. Another hit to the Midwest! Hold out for those playoff home games Big Ten!

Barrington is listed as 6′3” 215. Great starting off point for an OLB. He is #37 LB prospect in the nation; not too shabby. I see him as someone who will predominantly play special teams next year, with Spence manning the LB group, McCarthy back from injury, and Arthur Brown stepping into a starting role. Barrington can slide right in once McCarthy graduates, and run amok his sophomore year, a la the majority of the 2002 defense.

His senior year stats are pretty good: 1,118 yards rushing, 17 TD, 109 tackles, 4 TFL, 3 sacks. However, I can’t find out anything on his competition up there in Jax.

Barrington is listed as a 3 star by Rivals. Depth! Depth! Depth!

(Update: Barrington picked South Florida. You suck Barrington! You’re just a crappy 3 star! Who needs depth anyways! I wasted ten minutes of my life!)

2009 National Signing Day Eve

These are for you Randy.

On this NSD eve, the XMas for all those affiliated with any team across the college football world, I share this fantastic article I saw over on Bleed Scarlet, a Rutgers blog, via MGoBlog, who linked to it first.

Man, that sentence was long. PTA worthy. I should probably cut it up. Yes, I’m being lazy. Close ‘em up Randy!