Ultimate Job List!

I’ve had more jobs than anyone I know. This list starts at junior year of high school, all the way to present day. Remember dear reader, comments are welcome and encouraged. (I’m talking to you Holly!!)

As you can see, my average duration at a job is impeccable. It’s at least a week.

1. Laborer-Sure Products-Wixom, MI one month
2. Pizza Cuter-Papa Romano’s-Commerce, MI 5 months
3. Bagger-Kroger-Milford, MI 3 months
4. Data Assistant-HR Kruger-Farmington, MI one month
5. Laborer-Hagopian Carpet-Novi, MI 3 months
6. Cashier-Hall’s Ice Cream-Highland, MI 2 days
7. Sales Rep-Cutco Knives-Waterford, MI one month
8. Sales Showman-MasterSpa-Novi, MI 2 days
9. Concessions-United Artists Theater-Commerce, MI one month
10. Flag Football Refereee-UM Wellness Center-Coral Gables, FL two months
11. Lifeguard-Camp Dearborn-Milford, MI 4 months
12. Lifeguard-Schoolcraft College-Livonia, MI 3 months
13. Lifeguard-Village Apartments-Wixom, MI 2 months
14. Baker-Bellacino’s Restaurant-Farmington, MI 3 months
15. Courier-Miami Delivery-Miami, FL 2 weeks
16. Groundskeeper-Riviera Country Club-Coral Gables, FL 2 weeks
17. Temporary Instructor-Miami Dade Schools-Coral Gables, FL 6 months
18. Spotter For Gary Danielson-ABC Sports-Miami, FL one day
19. Server-Tarpon Bend Restaurant-Coral Gables, FL 3 months
20. Salesman-Connect To Success-Manhattan, NY one month
21. Sub Teacher-NYC Public Schools-Manhattan, NY 8 months
22. Sub Teacher-Temp Positions-Manhattan, NY two months
23. Private School Sub Teacher-Guy Named Claude-Manhattan, NY two weeks
24. Manager-Friday’s-Manhattan, NY three weeks
25. Server-Biltmore Hotel-Coral Gables, FL three weeks
26. Server-Tarpon Bend Restaurant-Coral Gables, FL 9 months
27. Temporary Instructor-Miami Dade Schools-Coral Gables FL 6 months and counting

Colleges:
Oakland Community College
University of Miami
Schoolcraft College
Grand Valley State University
Oakland University
Florida International University

And I graduated in 3 years. My only redeeming quality. And you can see how that worked out for me.

Pollo Loco

High Class

I have stooped lower than ever before. I have no self respect. I will not be able to live with myself. I have submitted my ridiculous resume for a managing position at Pollo Tropical.

Before we delve into the details my dear four readers (is it up to four yet?), let me assure you, I did not take the position. Even in my constant search for almost any job, I still could not take this piece of shit that is working as a manager at Pollo Tropical. So I have that going for me.

I apply online, knowing I shouldn’t be doing it, but am just sick of finding jobs and being turned down. I knew Pollo would call me back quickly (in an hour) and the interview would be set up quickly (two days later). Got to hand it to the shitty jobs. They know how to work it. So I go in for the interview, and the first question she asked was “How come you haven’t been able to find a job?” Are you fucking kidding me? How about you go find me a job, bitch! So sorry that my fucking awesome generic Communications degree doesn’t suit today’s workforce. Immediately I know I am not taking the position.

Now, the rest of the interview wasn’t that great, other than the fact she seemed to be telling me not to take the job. “We give you two personal days per week, except if the GM wants you to work a sixth day, which happens at all of our locations, because most are underperforming. And I get calls all the time from managers complaining about GMs overworking them.” Great. Not only does the job suck ass to begin with, but you’re telling me in the interview that my boss would be taking advantage of me. Sign me up! Enough of this story. New post coming soon about my full job history.